Last updated on November 20th, 2019
Here Are E-Cigarette News' 2014 New Year's Horoscopes
Read Percy's Horoscopes for 2015
Happy New Year everyone! Welcome to the first and last edition of Percy’s Probable Predictions for the New Year 2014.
Percy is a very prolific Indian Ringneck Parakeet with a penchant for predicting the future; however, in addition to being a proper, finely feathered fellow, he is also a keen purveyor of Horoscopes.
Percy diligently studies the stars while perched upon a premium e-cigarette. His predictions are right up there with other professional prophets, but luckily for E-Cigarette News, he works for peanuts.
How Best to Interpret Percy’s Probable Predictions
To quote one of Percy's mentors, the popular astrologist Liz Greene,
“The purpose is not in the prediction of concrete events. It is an exploration of the inner changes and cycles which occur in every individual and which often mysteriously coincide with events in the outer world.”
Keeping in mind that all good things are possible, if you follow the flow of your inner changes, the New Year will bring you everything you need!
Just scroll down to your Zodiac sign and see what your Probable Prediction is for 2014.
Aquarius – You are always a good mediator and you’re able to keep the peace when others are at each others throats. This year your skills will shine brighter than a crystal tipped e-cigarette, and despite disruptions, you’ll replace worn out roles at work with new, more fulfilling ones. Life will present you with new opportunities for physical self improvement and mental creativity. Go for it!
Pisces – New and wonderful opportunities are on the way this year, but don’t let your fear of change or over-cautiousness block all that good energy! Want to go on an exotic vacation to ClubMed but keep putting it off until you lose 30 pounds? Stop that! Did you get a new e-cigarette kit for Christmas, but you’re fearful you may actually like them? Ridiculous. Say goodbye to unfounded fears or miss out on a great New Year.
Aries – It’s out with the old and in with the new for you! Ch-ch-ch changes are on the horizon all across the board. My advice is to follow your heart and do what you love to do best. Believe in your dreams and you’ll snuff out obstacles as easily as you can stub out that smelly cigarette butt.
Taurus – This year may be a confusing year for you because your keen perception of right and wrong may be blurred by world (and personal) events. Still there’s potential for great joy and creativity in your life if you become more flexible with your current goals and begin taking charge of tasks you’ve let others handle for you. Don’t worry. You’ll find it’s far easier and healthier than going on a low fat diet or quitting ciggies cold turkey.
Gemini – This year will be filled with drama and passion – some good, some scary! You you may have to make changes, but luckily this year you have the energy and drive to do it. Thinking of getting back in shape? Perhaps giving up nasty habits? (hint, hint). You many not get the support of everyone around you, but this year you have the strength and determination it tell them to buzz off. Do so politely and you will succeed!
Cancer – You’ve learned a lot from past experience, but don’t let the modern world scare you off. Giving up old habits and attitudes will open up new opportunities for you. It’s easy to get too comfortable just doing enough to get by. This is a great year to develop your creative potential. Go wild! Write a blog! Decorate your living room! Buy a designer style e-cigarette and flaunt it at a Republican dinner party!
Leo – You are the eternal optimist but this year your smile is sagging and the months ahead may challenge that undaunted spirit. Take heart! Toss away those unhealthy expectations as you would toss an empty pack of Marlboros out the car window. Get real and join the real world. There are so many new and exciting things to try; so many refreshing, healthier changes to make in your life. You needn’t be rash or impulsive–think it through, then set a fresh new goal and get going! You’ll find instant relief.
Virgo – You’re in control of new and wonderful changes that are happening in your life, but be patient and be alert. Don’t overlook a great opportunity to make amends with old enemies and (most importantly) yourself. If you do, your brooding dark side will finally lighten up! And while you at it…stop lighting up that Lucky. You’ll find renewed joy in helping others fulfill their own New Year’s Resolutions –and you have the skills to do it!
Libra – You’re positively manic this year, dealing with family and home improvements and you may drive your relatives insane. If you do, remember…don’t alienate them. You’ll find they’re not as disposable as some e-cigarettes. Take a deep breath and go to yoga class instead. Good things are in store work wise if you do some homework and planning, but resist the temptation to be a “know it all” (even if you are one). Stay focused and positive and you will overcome conflicts surrounding your independence.
Scorpio – You’re the “mothering” type (sorry if you are male), and you hate to hear anyone calling you “self centered”. Sorry again, but this year you need to forget about them and start taking care of #1! It’s all good, because you are restless and ready for it. You may have to do some house cleaning; however, so throw away those old magazines and those cartons of Camels you got yourself for Christmas. Then, curb your cynical side, and you’ll attract healthy new relationships and/or business partners.
Sagittarius – This year communication is the key word, so don’t be afraid to speak your mind when it comes to expressing what you want. Just make sure you’re clear about what you say. More importantly, don’t speak from who you are now, but speak from who you wish to become! It’s time to rid yourself of old habits like smoking, biting your nails and role-playing. You know you’re ready for a change and this year you’ll gain the confidence to get it!
Capricorn – This year whether you like it or not, you will turn over a new leaf! You may change jobs or even partners. The secret to your success through all these challenging events is to relinquish your need to control things. Relax! Let go of the reigns and let others take the wheel. Don’t poo-poo people who suggest you give up smoking either. There’s no excuse anymore. Not with today’s superior e-cigarettes on the market!
Wishing you all a Very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!