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Nov 05 2013

Frosty the Snowman Has a Meltdown

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Frosty the Snowman story for 2013

A FROSTY STORY FOR MODERN TIMES

 

It was a beautiful, crisp winter morning. Frosty the Snowman was adjusting his carrot, happily puffing on his corn cob pipe when suddenly, the pipe burst into flames! 

“Holy snowballs!”, cried the terrified Frosty; but it was all he manage. His mouth was quickly turning into bitter yellow slush. 

After a few indistinct “Blurb, Blurbs”, Frosty noticed that his carrot nose was gone along with half his face. A sickly stream of tobacco colored gunk was streaming down his once white belly, dangerously close to his six black belly buttons. Frosty was sick with fear and embarrassment.

“The horrifying stigma of yellow snow!”, thought Frosty, with the terrifying realization that this unfortunate event could lead to more than an embarrassing situation; it could precipitate an untimely meltdown. 

Frosty decided the only thing to do was to ditch the flaming pipe and run to the village as fast as his new green galoshes would take him. Luckily, he had traded his old, unreliable top hat for a magical, modern cap that was made not to blow off in the blustering winter wind. He did; however, run into the same policeman as in last year's unfortunate meltdown. This year, Frosty was still relatively intact.

“Yo Frosty!…”, said Mr. Policeman with a sly grin. “I predicted you would be back again this year, but you look like a pack of incontinent dogs have mistaken you for a fire hydrant.”

Frosty blushed, but of course, no one noticed.

“It's not yellow snow Mr. P. My old corncob pipe blew up in my face after I lit the tobacco and I'm having another meltdown!”

Mr. Policeman did a rare thing. He put a finger to his nose and thought deeply. When he was finished, he dug deep into his oversized coat pocket and pulled out a curious item.

It looked like a cigarette, but not quite.

“Try this Frosty”, said Mr. Policeman, wiping the slush away from Frosty's mouth.

“It's an electronic cigarette, guaranteed to prevent Snowman meltdowns.”  

He stuck the e-cig into Frosty's mouth.

“This one's by V2 and it has a nice Menthol Ice filter.”

“E-Cigarettes are very cool”, he said with authority. “They're electric so there's no smoke, no flame, no tobacco, and only FDA approved ingredients. This filter, called a Cartomizer, has very low nicotine, so you needn't worry about any more yellow snow around the mouth either!”

Frosty beamed as he puffed on his new Menthol Ice Green Smoke e-cigarette. 

“Tastes totally cool!, said the snowman with growing relief. “You saved my life, this winter, Mr. Policeman! “Just wondering…Do they make e-pipes?”

Moral of the Story:  Don't wait to have to have a major meltdown to discover the benefits of e-cigarettes. 

VaporFi Electronic Cigarettes and Custom Blends

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About the author

Cb

Cb Miles is the Editor and contributing author for ecigarettenews.net. He has been a spokesperson for the vaping industry since 2009 - writing helpful articles across three websites that inform and support vapers worldwide. As a architectural designer by profession, Cb's mission is to promote healthy, happy environments. He also writes posts for Cloud Nine and Best-E-Cigarette-Guide.

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